The Courage to Fail
by the Hon. Jo Anne Assini,
2004 Niskayuna High School Graduation

I have a feeling that the graduates may think I am being honored because I was successful back in high school and throughout my life. WRONG! I am here for one reason alone: I never gave up. No matter what I failed at, or how much I lost, I kept trying. If you want me to tell you how to succeed, I can. There is no great secret. Each of you can be a success, regardless of your grades in high school, the number of extra-curricular activities you were involved in, and the awards you may or may not have received tonight.

When I graduated from Niskayuna High School in 1970, I had no stars, signifying "honors," next to my name. Nor did I receive any awards.

But I learned that in order to succeed, you have to TRY. And you'll probably have to fail, as I did so many times. You must never, never, never quit.

The only failures I have ever met are people who refuse to try.

I learned a lot about failing at Niskayuna High. I need to thank Niskayuna High School for teaching me to be a gracious loser. There were certain things I really wanted in high school. The first was to be a member of the choir. But I took typing instead of chorus freshman year, and when I tried out at the end of the year I was so nervous, I could barely sing. I failed to make the choir. But years later, STILL loving to sing, I tried out again for a different chorus ... in a Schenectady Light Opera show ... and to my astonishment, I made the chorus of "The King and I" and sang right here on Proctor's stage! And I should mention that I type every day of my life; without knowing how to type, I couldn't have been a good attorney.

So that was my first failure. It certainly wasn't my last! My dream was to be a writer. I had always been a wonderful English student, but for some reason, I was taken out of honors English ... and even advanced ... and placed in Regular English. This was so humiliating! All my friends were in other, higher classes. But ironically, I learned things in regular English that my friends in the higher classes never learned ... I learned about grammar and diagramming sentences ... I learned to appreciate good literature and I became a better writer. In law school, I became the editor of the school paper and for three years wrote at least one article in every issue. More importantly, when I ran for judge in 2000, Albany National Public Radio recognized only two statewide campaigns for excellence in literature ... one was Sen. Clinton's and the other was mine!

I don't want you to think my failures in high school stopped there. Oh no ... the other thing I really hoped to be was a cheerleader. In the sixties, girls' sports were not like they are now. No one even went to watch girls in sports, only the cheerleaders. So I practiced and practiced and you already know, by now, that I never even made the cut. And I am still waiting to become athletic ...

I tried out for plays ... and once I got a non-speaking part as the third nun ... I hoped and dreamed I would be a prom princess ... of course, neither I, nor any of my friends, were named.

By now it was senior year. As you can see, I had failed at EVERYTHING I had ever tried at Niskayuna High. My friends and I, however, staged a song and dance number for the senior show. After all, it was open to ANY senior. About a week before the senior show we were told that the show was too long and our number had been cut.

If you think about it, I had NO success in high school! But I learned the most valuable lesson of all ... to keep on trying.

This pattern of failure has repeated itself in my life ... I failed to make the law review in law school ... though I tried to write on and used those typing skills late into the night. I didn't win any moot court competitions, though I came very close, and in senior trials, the judge told me I was too aggressive (something he didn't tell any of the men in the competition...); I didn't get the job I dreamed of as an Assistant District Attorney in Manhattan ... though I ended up getting my favorite job ever, as a Legal Aid Defense attorney in the Bronx. When I started doing trials, I lost so many that it got to the point that I never thought I would win.

One trial I will always remember. I had a wonderful young man as my main witness; he had been the victim of a terrible assault. But the jury was barred by the judge from hearing nearly all of the evidence I had planned to use against the defendant. I knew, at that point, that I wouldn't win the trial. But I worked each day as if I was GOING to win. I lost. Someone called me and said "I want to make sure you're not angry at yourself because you lost." I hadn't even THOUGHT about being angry at myself. Why? Because I had done all the work I could possibly do. I was at peace with myself because I had tried so hard; something I had been doing for years and years.

The first time I ran for judge, I didn't just lose, I was crushed. But, I hadn't really expected to win AND my name was now known, setting the stage for the next year. I realized that what people remembered about you was HOW you handled losing.